Eulogy for Robert O'Leary
"I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know, I'm gonna be like you"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
"When you coming home, dad?"
"I don't know when
But We'll get together then, dad
You know we'll have a good time then"
Hello, my name is Gregory O'Leary.
I am Robert O'Leary's oldest son, and it is my honor, privilege, and
duty to speak at my father's funeral. On behalf of my entire family,
thank you for coming to celebrate his life.
To be honest, my siblings were pretty nervous about letting me give the eulogy. They were concerned that I might spend the whole time talking about how great I am instead of focusing on Dad. But I reassured them that, although the crowd would absolutely love hearing about my Awesomeness, unfortunately there simply wouldn't be enough time. The "Greg Is Awesome" talk is more of a full weekend seminar. And of course, everyone can always visit my website, GregIsAwesome.com, for further reading.
Since I'm not allowed to make this all about me, my siblings suggested I talk about how great our father was. But that felt too predictable --- and besides, each of you already knows how wonderful he was. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here today.
So instead of talking about what we all think of him, my father and I thought it would be much more interesting --- and much more fun --- to tell you exactly what my father thought about you.
Giving Thanks
Like any good award-winning speech, this begins with giving thanks and praise to God.
My father believed in God deeply --- trusted Him, loves Him, and prayed to Him daily. From an early age, we all knew this because every night we could see him kneel beside his bed on the hard wooden floor and praying. Always the same way. Night after night.
I remember being about nine years old, kneeling beside him in church
during Mass. I whispered that my knees hurt hoping that he would allow
me to sit down. Instead, My father pointed to the oldest lady in the
church and said, "You can stop kneeling when she stops kneeling." Until
then you are going to kneel, pray and give thanks to God
Turns out she was about a hundred years old.
His Arrival in Heaven
My father was not perfect --- none of us are --- but I am certain he made it into heaven. God knew his heart, his struggles, and forgave him just as He forgives all of us.
As Kathy beautifully wrote in his obituary, he was welcomed into heaven by his loving wife Barbara, their firstborn baby, his parents (Mimi and Grandpa), his sisters Irene, Marcia, Louise, and Anne; his brothers‑in‑law William Ring and Bob Wilson; his sisters‑in‑law Carol Jacobsen, Connie Kenny, and Nancy Herzog; and his nephews Michael Ring and Matthew O'Leary.
And yes --- that's a lot of relatives. Enough for fullcourt 5‑on‑5 basketball games with subs. But they're all about to learn that my father never subs himself out. He loves the game far too much, and now that his knees and back don't hurt anymore, he's never coming out.
MESSAGES FROM MY FATHER TO THOSE STILL LIVING
To Patsy
As his oldest sister, you were his rock. His security blanket. The one person he was most likely to listen to. Everyone knew that if you wanted Dad to do something he didn't want to do, you had to go through Patsy.
He cherished your daily 9 a.m. phone calls --- so much so that if he couldn't find his phone at 8:59, he would spiral into a full panic. But his call would only last 2 seconds. "Just calling to check on you. Okay. Bye."
He said paying for cable was too expensive, but everyone knows that he just used that as an excuse to come watch TV with you. He loved talking to you about any subject, but mainly about his best friend Donald Trump. My father misses you already Patsy and we know that you are going to miss him. He loves you Patsy
To Jimmy and Marylin
Dad loved growing up with you --- even the adventures that may or may not have been fully legal. He loved the time spent with you and your family in Michigan and always came home with stories.
But most of all, Jimmy, he knew you always had his back because you
could come fully loaded and ready if needed. Whether that was because he
trusted you or because you owned the most ammunition and provided the
most fire power, we'll never know.
He truly loves you Jimmy and Marylin
To George
He missed you dearly. He wished for more time together.
Simply put
He loves you, George.
To Joe and Kim
He could not have asked for a better brother or a better dental partner. Thank you for the hard work, long hours, and high‑quality dental care you provided together. Thank you for countless holidays and St. Patrick's Day parties.
And about those dinners where you always seemed to get stuck with the bill --- it was never personal. The food just tasted better when you paid.
He loves you Joe and Kim.
To Becky and Dave
You brought calm and logic to every situation. Dad was grateful for the
legal advice, the card games, the dinners, and the countless visits to
the hospitals and rehab facilities.
He loves you, Beck and Dave.
To Tess
Doctors diagnosed Dad with atrial fibrillation, but we all
know you were the one who made his heart flutter. He would truly light
up every time you walked into the room. Thank you for loving him.
He truly loves you, Tess.
A Note About "Loved" vs. "Loves"
If you're paying attention, you'll notice I keep saying loves
(LOVES), not loved (LOVED).
Because I believe true love lasts forever --- even when our bodies
don't.
About the Health Care Power of Attorney
As many of you know my father had multiple health issues and eventually the time came for him to designate his Health Care Power of Attorney.
Dad had some highly qualified options to fill this role:
Greg --- a doctor
Carolyn --- a trained nurse practitioner
Tom --- a dentist
But instead he chose:
Maureen --- a glorified university secretary and fundraiser
Kathy --- who manages donations and spends tax payer dollars on elaborate office decoration contests
His decisioin was perplexing to me. So I recently asked him, "Dad, why didn't you choose someone with medical training like me the doctor?"
He looked me straight in the eye and said,
"Greg, if you were me... would you choose Greg?"
Clearly, he never visited GregIsAwesome.com.
To Maureen
He called you Maureen, Doster, MO --- but really he should have called you MMT: Mini Mother Teresa.
You gave up your own life to care for him. He wasn't always great at expressing gratitude, but he told me directly that he would be eternally grateful for everything you did.
You offered him choices, gave him dignity, showered him with love, and you are the one who allowed him to stay home in North East to be around his Family and Friends.
He loves you, Maureen.
To Greg
Dad said, "Greg, you are awesome."
At least, that's what you tell everyone Greg
He and I shared a love of music --- despite neither of us being able to sing. In school, a nun once told him that when the rest of his class was singing that he should just lip‑sync.
He liked Willie Nelson and Gordon Lightfoot, but I think his favorite band was an old classic rock band named Judas Priest --- he "requested" them often from Mom and me. Judas Priest Barb, Judas Priest Greg. But neither of us knew where he kept that record.
We competed in every sport but our favorite was basketball.
One night at Open Gym, we were playing on the same team. And for some
reason his famous Kareem Abdul Jabar hook shot was not falling for him
that night. So we ended up losing the first few games. And while
waiting to play our next game, I said, if you want to win you should
throw the ball to me.
He said,
"Greg, if you were me and you really wanted to win would you throw
Greg the ball?"
The following game he suprisingly passed me the ball for the game‑winner --- and I missed. I never saw the ball again.
But at the end of the night, he put his arm around me and said:
"Greg, you are awesome, and I love you."
To Carolyn
You, Becky, and Carol Jacobsen share the same peaceful, caring spirit. You are more concerned about others than you are about yourself.
Dad knew that when you arrived, he was getting high‑quality, professional nursing care. He enjoyed every visit and loved time with your family in Falls Church.
No matter where he traveled, your house always seemed to be on the way.
He loves you, Carolyn.
To Tom
You are the most like Dad --- and as they say in the South, Bless your heart.
You're a fantastic dentist, an athlete, a hiker, and somehow still in great shape despite qualifying for senior discounts at IHOP.
He is proud of you, Tom.
He loves you.
To Kathy
Dad loved every moment spent in Charleston --- whether it was just you and your family or the whole O'Leary crew at Folly Beach. He enjoyed your high school years, especially when you introduced him to local law enforcement. He appreciated every trip you made up here to care for him.
He loves you, Kathy.
To Russel and Eric
Thank you for loving his daughters and giving him grandchildren.
He loves you both.
To Ryan
Thank you for agreeing to marry Tom --- and yes, the monthly payments
will continue. Thank you for all the times you came up alone to care for
him.
He respected your style --- especially when you told him he was strong
enough to get his own water.
He loves you, Ryan.
To Judy Wilson and the Dental Office Staff
Thank you for years of hard work and loyalty. He could not have done it
without your support.
He loved working with you, and he loves all of you.
To His Athletic Opponents and Fellow Coaches
Thank you for years of competition --- basketball, ping pong, tennis,
marathons.
He loved every battle and he loves you
To His Friends
Thank you for card games, dinners, adventures, and memories. He was blessed with friends like Herb and Betty Noll, the Savages, the Cunninghams, the Hitchcocks, and so many more. And to Cherrie Rouse --- thank you for the lake house.
He truly loves all of you.
To His Nieces, Nephews, Grandchildren, Great‑Granddaughter, and Soon-to-Be Great‑Grandson
He is proud of all you've accomplished --- engineers, lawyers, dentists, doctors Physical therapists, artists, musicians, business professionals, missionaries, government employees, military officers and more.
To those still in school --- work hard, follow your dreams, be compassionate, and look out for one another. You will certainly face struggles in life, and my father won't be here to protect you. But my father said if you support each other the way his brothers and sisters supported him, everything will be okay.
Closing
My father wants you to remember him --- maybe even miss him a little --- but he does not want you to mourn him.
He wants you to take the love you had for him
and give it to the people he loves.
In other words:
Love one another
the way he loves you.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
"When you coming home, Dad?"
"I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad,
we're gonna have a good time then"